If You Sprinkle
By Jonathan Greer
They had been married for ten years, and arguing for twelve. Her biggest pet-peeve was the toilet seat. He could never get it right.
Tonight they hosted a holiday party. All through the evening, she could not relax. It was hard enough keeping him in line when it was just the two of them. Now, with all these people, it would be impossible.
She saw him excuse himself from a conversation and head to the guest bathroom. She followed, secretly keeping her ear to the door to make sure he lifted, wiped, and replaced the seat.
After a minute he came out, catching her off-guard and knocking her head against the door.
-What the hell?
-You didn’t even flush! she screamed, her face as red as her Santa sweater.
-Darlin, he said, You don’t need to flush when you piss in the sink.
This would be their final Christmas.
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