The Honeymoon
Jonathan Greer
The newlyweds walked down the aisle. Kernels of rice were flung at them by the handfuls. They shielded their faces with their fingers, new rings yet untarnished. The woman looked deep into the man’s eyes and said, This is Crazy! Let’s get outta here! The man shouted something back. He held his new wife by the arm and they ran.
-Just our luck, he said, now dodging a honeydew hurled by a teenager in a ski mask, To get caught in a supermarket foodfight. On our honeymoon!
Several bananas hit her in rapid succession. She wailed in pain, They got me!
-You little bastard! He grabbed two frozen chickens and bowled them across the grocery floor in an attempt to provide some covering fire.
Suddenly there came sirens, and the mob of teenagers dropped their munitions and raced away.
The newlyweds stood amid the mess, holding hands on the battlefield.
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