The Caroler
Jonathan Greer
The couple walked into the department store. The Christmas décor was in full plumage. Tyler took a breath and Kim began humming along with the music.
-Not yet, he said. Not yet. It’s not even Thanksgiving, and they play this shit.
-What’s wrong with that? she replied. You could use some holiday cheer.
-Babe, have you ever listened to the words of this song? Blah, blah, blah, in a one horse open sleigh? His head bobbed with the rhythm.
-Ok, she said, her voice trailing up.
-One horse? That’s only one horsepower. One horsepower! Who wants a car with one horsepower? Your vibrator has more horsepower than that.
An old saleswoman looked up from her task of folding sweaters.
Embarrased, Kim elbowed him in the gut and smiled. The lady resumed her task with a small Hmph.
-I’m just saying, he retreated, They couldnt’ve hitched another horse to the sleigh?
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